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Dear Grey Zone,

Like a Goldman Sachs lobbyist, the last five months have brought out the worst in both of America's political parties, and in the 56% of us who identify as an acolyte of either.

Paul Ryan used to be an out-of-work actor with steely eyes, abs of steel, and an uncompromisingly Randian vision for America. Now Paul Ryan is an out-of-work actor with steely eyes, abs of steel, and a compromisingly Randian vision for America who walks around behind Trump with a shovel, scooping up poop as it falls out of Donald's ass like an elephant and its trainer on parade.






On the Democratic side we have a bunch of people who somehow summon the energy to block traffic every weekend playing "French Resistance" but couldn't manage to get out of bed on November 8th for a democratic election. I had to register for an absentee ballot a month before the election so that I could send in my vote from a different hemisphere. I'm registered to vote in the antiswing state of Texas, where ever…

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Dear Time Zones,

Dear Risk Averse,

Dear Bigots,